Sad but true

Well, my ankle appears to be healing nicely, or at least the bruising is. Trying to remember to not just throw my legs about like normal is proving to be a lot harder than anticipated; it’s crazy how easy it is to forget you have an injury when you can’t feel it! I’ve tried my best to elevate and keep it safe, but despite being sat down all day it’s easier said than done!

Last night, our friends Aaron, Lucie, Jack and Abi came round for drinks and a takeaway. It’s crazy how the simplest things in life, like drinks with mates, make the biggest impact on your mood. The last few days I’ve been a bit up and down, but it was exactly what I needed to remind me why I need to push through the bad times and focus on the good.

I’ve had quite a few reasons to smile recently, not least of all being home for over a month now! I’ve had a job interview, been conditionally offered the job, I’m getting closer to a car… there are so many positive things going on in my life, that when something negative comes along it really stands out. For example, Sarah recently had to delete some troll comments on my Facebook page. They were just pictures, and although some could have found them offensive I just thought to myself ‘why would you bother taking the time?’ To me, it seems as though there must be something more productive to do with your time than to sit and post spam on a blog ran by a person you clearly don’t know!

Another example is how other people try to drag others down, through what can only be imagined to be either ignorance or jealousy. So, yesterday, someone I have met through my injury took the time to sit and write multiple Facebook posts about me, without tagging me, messaging me or even attempting to get in touch with me. Although I wasn’t named, it was pretty obvious what it was about. I had left a group chat that wasn’t helping me keep in a positive mind frame, and then suddenly these status’ appeared… you do the maths. So, wanting to give this person the opportunity to air their issues with me, I messaged them this morning. What resulted was a poor attempt at causing aggravation and upset, and me asking questions without receiving answers. It even got to the point of name calling and being somewhat abusive, which was thoroughly unnecessary. I’m a big believer in live and let live, and when it comes to having an opinion we can all have our own. However, clearly certain people are not of the same school of thought. I’ll not name names, as I don’t believe that to be a good idea or conducive to what I’m trying to achieve here, but in this person’s eyes I was something akin to the devil for ‘turning against the group’… give me a break. All throughout this, let’s call it a conversation, points were raised which I either adequately countered, asked for more clarification on, or agreed with. None of the questions I asked were addressed, and when I raised a point negating the allegations – and I use that word loosely – against me, I got nothing in reply. The best was still yet to come though. The final message I received from this person is shown in the screenshot below.

I generally find that this community of people, both with and without the same condition as me, is generally fully supportive and understands the importance of mental health. On this occasion though, I have seen the opposite. If I was a different person, and I wasn’t as comfortable with myself as I am, the comments made could do some serious damage. I raise this point as the person involved is twice my age, and really should know better considering the support I have seen them need. Men under the age of 35 are the most at-risk group for suicide, and it’s things like this that can easily lead there. Luckily I am not intimidated, upset, or even remotely interested. I post this to raise awareness of the fact that despite thinking you know someone, they may not always have your best interests at heart. This was a low blow by anyone’s standards, and more importantly it’s just plain nasty. There was nothing to be gained by saying this, and yet here we are.

So, the moral of this story, is that you are well within your rights to disagree with someone. You can do what you want, both on and off the internet, and most likely there will be no consequence to your actions. But as a whole, we all need to try and consider what we say to others. We don’t know what they have been or are currently going through, and we don’t know what effect our words could have.

Clearly shown below I did reply once again to this individual, but they have ignored me since then, so I would just like to make one thing abundantly clear; I do not have an issue with anyone. Not this individual, not anyone they are referring to, nobody. I enjoy meeting and speaking with others in similar situations, and I met a lot of good people in hospital. I guess there has to be one bad apple in every barrel.

In hospital, everyone is vulnerable at some point. At the point at which I met this person, I was not. I’m not sure who is spoken for by the use of ‘we’, but if that was the only reason this person spoke to me then maybe they need some help. And, if I was only liked for my vulnerability and the chance to exploit it, I’m sorry to disappoint!