Life is a rollercoaster. Not one of those lovely little ones that gently goes up and down, and you have a lovely time on; no. It goes up and down wildly, and what’s more is when you get on the ride you’re blindfolded; you cant even see where you’re going, be it up or down. That’s how my life feels at the moment. One second I’m heading up, then plummeting down. Unfortunately it seems to be a long way down for me at the moment, but never mind that. It’s got to go up at some point, right?
At this time I’ve been laid in bed for over a week. As per my last post I’ve been rather unwell again, and as a result of that my skin has deteriorated. This is a classic catch 22 moment; being in bed makes my skin bad, getting in my chair makes my skin bad. Think rock and hard place, only both places are actually soft and have the illusion of making you better.
The word I most commonly seem to be using to describe my state of mind at the moment is frustrated. There’s nothing I can do to make myself better, in fact there doesn’t seem to be anything anyone can do. So I lay here and wait. But never mind! I have a lot more ‘down’ days at the moment, but I have to keep telling myself to push through. As I’m in a side room, Sarah has very kindly decorated by putting pictures and cards all over the walls. This reminds me that I’m not alone, and that I have lots of support. More importantly it reminds me of what i have to look forward to. One of the best decorations I have in my room is a plaque saying ‘Good vibes only’. I think that sums it up just about perfectly; keeping a positive mindset is absolutely key to surviving this place.