This is a post not from the infamous wheelchair Sam, but from his incredible Fiancée, Sarah. Please read her brief account of the events that happened following the crash, and hopefully we can share an insight into our world from another perspective. This has been a long time in the making as Sarah is not usually as open and public about things like me, but I am really glad she has done this. I may be the one who crashed, but there are so many other lives affected, as this post highlights…
It’s amazing how many emotions you can feel within a week.
One moment I’m heartbroken and in shock after getting the call and not knowing what was happening. Dread sat waiting to see him at 4 in the morning after his first surgery. Fear every morning calling the hospital to hear how Sam was overnight. Excitement being able to sit by his side, seeing his gorgeous face and holding his hands even though he had no idea I was there. That sick feeling I got every time doctors and nurses spoke about keeping him asleep for longer. But the relief I felt when that day finally came and Sam was woken up and he knew that he wasn’t alone and that I’d been there the whole time.
I didn’t quite realise how hard it would be to be away from Sam for so long; we went from spending every night together to nothing, even when he was on lates at work or on a job at god knows what time, I knew he would always come home. At one point I actually thought he’ll be fine he’s going to wake up and walk out of her any day, yet each day I woke up as if I was in a living nightmare not knowing when he would be able to come home.
ICU was honesty the hardest part of Sam’s journey, but there would be still be lots more obstacles that stood in our way. The move to HDU was a massive success a lot quicker than we thought, I still had fear every time I would call up to see how he’d been. There were a few highs that happened in HDU that kept us going, such as Amelia finally getting to see her Daddy after 18 long days and even with a million wires, tubes and medical staff, we were able to go outside for 5 minutes of fresh air.
As much as moving to spinal was massive step forward , what I thought would be smooth sailing, was anything but. I shed a lot of tears over the next five months, it was an emotional whirlwind, I had to pack up our first family home without Sam and move into a little bungalow that he’d never even seen, I had to sit and watch Sam go back into HDU and isolation after getting infection after infection, I cried so many times just holding his hand thinking would he ever be able to come home.
Just as Sam always does he surprises me, he’s so stubborn that there was no way he was missing Christmas, he was coming home even just for the weekend, he got stronger and I sorted the house that was the deal and you can bet that we kept it, it was all worth it when Sam got in the car on Christmas Eve and didn’t have to go back for a couple of days. It was perfect, Sam home for Christmas.
After a gorgeous Christmas things started to look up we knew it wouldn’t be long until Sam was home for good. There was a lot of continuous rehab for Sam and learning to work as a new team. Finally discharge day finally came and although so many emotions came back up, the one thing that never came up was if we could do this. No matter how many things have been thrown our way it never crossed my mind to ever walk away. This journey took us to hell and back but it also made us a lot stronger and I’m so thankful to everyone that has supported us. We couldn’t have done it without our families, friends, and the love we were shown by so many people.
Learning how to live together again has been anything but easy, we’ve had to learn new ways of doing things and there is so many things that go on just to be able to get out on time, BUT I can tell you one thing, I wouldn’t change anything! I’m so proud to be by your side❤️